for i will walk

Our days recently have consisted of desperately clinging to light {any ounce we can get our hands on} in the midst of darkness.

Did you know there is light even in blinding darkness? Sometimes I fail to see it. It’s so simple to feel alone, especially when those who should be your biggest source of comfort, hurt you. Yet in the moments when we stop fearing the darkness and open our eyes for a moment, we see the small glimmers of Him.

It’s there. He’s there.

It is so hard to trust when nothing is clear, when nothing makes sense, when others don’t care, when time seems to sit still. We know the darkness is real, and we are too scared to peek for even a second.

When we let the mountain of hurt, worries, anger, depression, sadness, pile in front of our view, it causes us to not see even the little slivers of hope that might catch our eye. We fail to see even the little glimpses of what God might be doing, or leading, or teaching, or growing.

And with everything in me, I believe He is. He is working. He does work through pain, and hurt, and down right dumb things. He’s done it so many times before, and yet we still have to wonder, {God, do you see this? Do you care? What have I done wrong? God, why are you allowing this?}.

{Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. ~ 2 Corinthians 4:16-18}

What if when everything around us screams GIVE UP we kept moving forward. What if we kept our eyes, our hearts, our trust fixed on our Healer, our Redeemer. What if we trust. What if we start to trust that even though our earthly eyes don’t see a thing, the God who goes before us KNOWS EVERYTHING. He sees every step that will be taken and every wrong and right move. He keeps leading us even though we’ve allowed ourselves to be blinded by the darkness. I love with everything in me that we have a God that loves us even though we make mistakes, we hurt others, and we selfishly think we can do life on our own. 

I don’t want to be blinded by the darkness any longer. Even when the suffering is beyond me. I want us to persevere. I want us ALL to persevere. Because if I know one thing it’s that God can bring joy in even the deepest rooted suffering. And if we spend too much time worrying about what’s ahead, or the why’s of the situation, we’ll never experience the things that have been in place to plant our roots into HIM.

What if instead of allowing ourselves to be blinded by the darkness, we started believing and trusting {in a purpose} with such a fierce passion that we began to be blinded by the light. What if we decided to be overcomers of the darkness. What could God do then?

So that’s where we are, and where I am sure some of you are too. We will continue to keep our eyes open and look towards the light {even the small glimpses}, even when everything else screams darkness. We would rather be blinded by that, than to look away.

{I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. ~Romans 8:18}